Aging brings many challenges, and sometimes, seniors begin making unsafe decisions that put their safety or financial well-being at risk. This can be especially concerning when dementia is involved. As family members, we want to help, but knowing how to intervene respectfully and effectively can be difficult, especially when they’re making unsafe decisions. In this guide, I’ll share practical ways to support seniors, with a focus on family rights in Washington State, strategies for influence over force, and the benefits of in-home care.
Recently, I was contacted by a family who was worried about their elderly father, George (not his real name). They had noticed that he was paying a neighbor $200 a week to mow his small lawn. Concerned that he was being taken advantage of, they reached out for help. When I visited George and asked him about it, he smiled and said, “Yeah, I know it’s a lot, but after he mows, we sit and talk. I enjoy the company. It’s worth it to me.”
This situation highlights an important point: Not every decision that seems unreasonable is necessarily unsafe. While George’s family worried about financial exploitation, he saw it as paying for companionship. The family and George disagreed with how much that half-hour talk was worth. The key is identifying decisions that truly pose a danger—such as neglecting personal care, falling for financial scams, or forgetting to turn off the stove, or even being financially exploited by the neighbor kid.
Understanding Family Rights in Washington State
If an adult is considered of sound mind and able to make decisions, there is little families actually can do. It’s not illegal to make decisions that your family disagrees with. I think we can all be thankful for that. When the question of cognitive decline or dementia comes into play, the question gets muddier.
If a senior’s choices do put them in harm’s way, Washington State provides legal avenues for families to step in. Here are some important protections:
Adult Protective Services (APS): If abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation is suspected, APS can investigate and intervene. Their hotline is 1-877-734-6277.
Vulnerable Adult Protection Orders (VAPO): Families can seek a court order to protect seniors from abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation.
Guardianship: If a senior is unable to make safe decisions, a family member can petition for legal guardianship to manage their affairs. A family member can get court assigned as guardian or you can seen the help of a professional legal guardian.
Influence Over Force: Strategies for Families Against Unsafe DecisionsMade By Seniors
It’s natural to want to take control when a loved one is making poor choices, but forcing decisions can lead to resistance and hurt relationships. Instead, try these approaches:
Have Open Conversations: Ask your loved one about their priorities and listen to their reasoning. This builds trust and helps them feel respected.
Frame Decisions Around Their Values: If safety is a concern, rather than saying, “You can’t live alone anymore,” try, “How can we make sure you stay safe and independent?”
Involve a Third Party: Sometimes, advice from a doctor, social worker, or professional caregiver carries more weight than advice from family members.
Leverage the “Golden Child.” In some families, there is one sibling that has more success getting parents to change course; use that! If your family has a golden child, have them be the mouthpiece.
Leverage emergencies: Emergencies have the virtue of being able to (sometimes) cut through denial. If they have had a fall, hospitalization, or medication error, this can be an opportunity to get in-home care in place. Sometimes, as frustrating and fearful as it is, if they’re extremely resistant, you may have to wait for an emergency. The key here is to be able to move quickly and have resources in place so you can take the opening when it comes.
Assessing Unsafe Decisions of Seniors and When to Step In
If you’re unsure whether they’re making an unsafe decisions or just unconventional, consider these steps:
Identify Immediate Risks: Is there a clear danger, such as falling hazards or large financial losses?
Consult Professionals: Doctors, elder law attorneys, and financial advisors can provide insight and guidance.
Review Legal Options: If necessary, legal tools like power of attorney or even guardianship can help families protect their loved ones while maintaining as much independence as possible.
Personalized Care Plans tailored to each senior’s needs.
Companionship and Assistance with daily activities.
Family Guidance to help navigate difficult decisions.
Conclusion
Helping a senior who is making unsafe decisions requires a balance of respect, patience, and the right support, brought in at the right time. Understanding when to intervene legally and when to guide with compassion is key. If you’re struggling with a loved one’s safety or decision-making, HopeBridge Home Health can provide expert guidance and care. Reach out today to learn how we can help ensure your loved one’s well-being while preserving their dignity.
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